I guess you’d call us frenemies—this woman I’ve known for nearly twenty years and me. We don’t fight, exactly, but neither of us is cordial to the other. We’re thrown together often in faith organizations, and as soon as one of us makes a catty, snotty or condescending remark, the other responds in kind.
We recently ended up at a small retreat together, and she shared that she struggles with the paralysis of fear. I didn’t know that about her, and I’ve had the same struggle myself. Suddenly, I could see her as Jesus does. At a break, I tried to chat her up privately about this revelation, and she backed away. I let her go, but prayed that the Lord might use this incident as a way to help us better love each other and ourselves and put aside the animosity and fear.
Melanie telling about your experience helps me to relax a bit with my emotions about those Frenemies. Now I know that I'm not alone in that experience. But I have to say I am with Anne I pray for those people and guidance about dealing with them. My prayer list seems to getting a bit too long tho LOL. My quirk is that once I start praying for someone or something I don't take it off my list to replace later with a different name or situation. So there is goes a long prayer list :) Vicky, I am in awe of your strength and I pray for you and Garrett that God will be with you every step of the way. It sounds like he may using you also to spread his love to others when they come visit. Healing and Gods love to you both. My friend Laura is still in the hospital but so far the infection hasn't spread and they are thinking she won't have to have surgery. Hallelujah. Blessings to all the LFF. May God guide all especially those with extra needs these days and may we all spread the love of God through all the world.
Lifting Laura for continued healing. Hoping the gladiator in Garrett continues to fight through his healing and rehab! Amen.
Reminds me of *** God’s grace in 2 Corinthians 5:17-29, “When anyone lives in Christ, the new creation has come. The old is gone! The new is here! All this is from God. He brought us back to Himself through Christ’s death on the cross. And He has given us the task of bringing others back to Him through Christ. God was bringing the world back to Himself through Christ. He did not hold people’s sins against them. God has trusted us with the message that people may be brought back to Him!” *** Ken here has a way of opening up the conversation of those who put up a wall like ourselves, “Will you pray for me on…be vulnerable on whatever it is that you need prayer for!” Then. “How/what can I pray for you?” *** The fact is that I was just like them in Titus 3:3, “ At one time we too acted like fools. We didn’t obey God. We were tricked. We were controlled by all kinds of desires and pleasures. We were full of evil. We wanted what belongs to others. People hated us, and we hated one another!” ******* The Good News in Titus 3:4-8, “But the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared. He saved us. It wasn’t because of the good things we had done. It was because of His mercy. He saved us by washing away our sins. We were born again. The Holy Spirit gave us new life. God poured out the Spirit on us freely. That’s because of what Jesus Christ our Savior has done. His grace made us right with God. So now we have received the hope of eternal life as God’s children. You can trust this saying. These things are important. Treat them that way. Then those who trust in God will be careful to commit themselves to doing good. These things are excellent. They are for the good of everyone!” *** Listen carefully to this list of warnings in Titus 3:9-11, “But keep away from foolish disagreements. Don’t argue about family histories. Don’t make trouble. Don’t fight about what the law teaches. Don’t argue about things like that. It doesn’t do any good. It doesn’t help anyone. Warn anyone who tries to get believers to separate from one another. Warn that person more than once. After that, have nothing to do with them. You can be sure that people like this are twisted and sinful. Their own actions judge them!”
I once worked with a young woman who blatantly used her beauty and wiles to get special favors and attention from the boss who was only more than happy to accommodate her. Besides creating animosity from the other co-workers, it made for a very uncomfortable atmosphere in our small office. Every day I found myself seething inwardly at her and her actions. Finally one day I decided that if we were to continue working together I would have to do something about my feelings so I decided to pray, not for her to change or to get another job, but I prayed FOR her. An amazing thing happened. Her actions didn’t change but my reaction to them did and I was able to have a cordial and even friendly relationship with her and an inner peace. God heard my prayers and answered them in the best possible way. Amen.
Love this Anne. Thanks for sharing and giving us hope for better outcomes. Amen.
Thank you for sharing, Anne! Reminds me of Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me!”
Very good meditation Melanie. Like Jane, I find myself in the judgement seat I have no right to be in sometimes and that is the seed of the frienemy tree. The quote of the saints and prayers to them made me ponder in a different way my current situation. We have had a number of people come to visit with Garrett in our home. It was Jane’s post of St. Jude that made me think about a comment someone made regarding a very large framed print we have hanging of the Divine Mercy. I also have statues of Our Lady, The Infant of Prague, St. Philomena, The Holy Family, and St. Jude besides crucifixes and framed prayers. How many of our visitors see these holy reminders and are affected in a positive way, or at least give thought to Our Lord that they may not otherwise. May we be a light to those we love as well as those “frienemies” in our lives by how we live and what we surround ourselves with. Praying for Laura Stormi, as well as the intentions of you all. Have fun Ken in that new car—I know you will be doing good deeds with it every day—makes me feel like “a win for God instead of the enemy”! Blessings everyone.
These are beautiful posts Vicky and Pam. Thank you for sharing your heart. ❤️
Vicky G...I was touched years ago by a visit to a friend's Aunt's house and at first was "startled" by a Crucifix on her wall. We went into the kitchen, and another Crucifix was on the wall. That day something touched my soul in seeing signs of God on display in someone's home! I started to display Crosses in my home, which I think "startled" my husband! But I kept on, and then realized they weren't decorations. I have the Crucifix from my Dad's casket hanging just inside our bedroom door and my Mom's Crucifix she was given when she converted to Catholicism on display in another room. I want people who come into our home to FEEL His presence and it starts with them SEEING His image. As always, I've got Garrett, Kathy, Laura, a Working Mom and ALL of our Living Faith Family tucked tight in my heart of prayers.
Melanie, I have definitely been in difficult situations with others similar to what you describe in your reflection. The most beautiful thing I will take away is what you said about the fact that you could “see her as Jesus does.” Although the situation may not be completely resolved, through the hands of the Lord you were able to understand her more fully and that is a blessing we can all understand.
Yes Mary Beth. I had a friend that said, “God loves you just as you are and God loves them just how they are.” Give a bit of perspective :-)
By sharing you develop trust, but sometimes what you share has to be evaluated, hashed out, before a response can be formulatd. Hopefully your meet again and renew your story.Amen!
Thanks, all. This was a hard one to write, and a harder situation to navigate, even though I know the Lord's desire. Offering prayers today for the LF family.
Melanie right on we have been those situations. I only pray that the Lord will guide us to be compassionate and extend ourselves. Living faith family great news " I won a new car in the church raffle. " Ken
Ken..that is crazy! Try to enjoy it!
Congratulations, Ken!!! God's provision and encouragement for your continued service and ministry to His people including all of us here in LFFamily...2 Corinthians 9:8, "And God is able to shower all kinds of blessings on you. So in all things and at all times you will have everything you need. You will do more and more good works!"
Woo Hoo Ken congratulations! What a fun blessing.
Indeed Melanie...I am a work in progress in trying to understand others and their underlying issues, and struggling in not being judgemental...Lord grant me thy peace
Amen.
Thought provoking and soul searching reflection Melanie. Praying Almighty Father, that You'd allow us to see ourselves and each other in the same way that You see us, as brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus. Prayers and blessings for all with special intentions and needs. Wednesday blessings Living Faith Family.
Oh Melanie, the frenemy. I know all too well the feeling of dread knowing that your paths are about to cross….the desire to avoid them, but then having to just push through, and later replaying the interaction over and over, leaving me feeling gross. May God grant me the ability to see them as he sees them, a child of God. Amen. Continued prayers for Sarah, Garrett and Sal.
Lord please hear our prayers and bring your light to all those experiencing natural disasters, as well as those in Haiti, the Middle East, Ukraine, Russia, Darfur, the Sudan, in addition to all those suffering around the world - also for their strength, courage and resilience to continue walking in faith. Send them your light. Father in Heaven, have mercy on us and on the whole world! You sent Your Son, the Prince of Peace, for the salvation of the world. We pray that the Peace of Christ will reign in Haiti, the Middle East, Ukraine, Russia, Darfur and Sudan. Please protect and send aid to those in need and all who are at-risk. We pray for peace and rebuilding– we who are working towards it and for all those who are suffering or in danger from conflicts. We pray for an end to violence and war – we pray for wisdom for all leaders who have a hand in this. Lord God please help those in most need of thy mercy. Amen
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My reaction to your reflection, Melanie, is for us to have more trust in God. At one time or another many of us have been in similar situations. "Hold your eyes on God & leave the doing to Him. That is all the doing you have to worry about." St. Jane Frances de Chantal