“I’m listening so I can prove you wrong” is often what passes for dialogue these days. In this age of increasing polarization, we already are planning our rebuttal even as the other speaks. The same is true for too many discussions: We listen to score points, not to understand.
In Luke’s Gospel today, the scribes and Pharisees were read the riot act by Jesus. He accuses them of refusing to listen and of becoming obstacles to the truth for others. These are tough words, and Jesus’ opponents show no interest in recognizing truth. They “began to act with hostility toward him and to interrogate him about many things, for they were plotting to catch him at something he might say" (vv. 53-54).
To bring healing to our divisions, whether in our family, our parish or our country, we first need to listen with an open heart, seeking to understand the other.
Listening is a critical skill in achieving img goof communication. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is passive it does not require effort or attention on our behalf. There are so many words flowing over us daily it would be impossible to listen to them all but it’s important to distinguish between the dross and the gold. The gold is the communication from those we love, we need to LISTEN with empathy and try to get to the feelings being expressed without judgement. Gently test for your understanding of what you have just heard, by gently asking the individual for confirmation. Listening is not easy in fact it’s difficult but in the minefield of interpersonal communication it is a critical skill to learn.
First and foremost, listen to what the Holy Spirit tells us and explains to us God's Word in Scripture!!! *** Romans 12:2, "Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect!" *** Charles Spurgeon, "Discernment is not knowing the difference between right or wrong. It is knowing the difference between right and almost right!" *** "When a person is being taught how to discern if a piece of paper money, such as a dollar bill, is counterfeit, they are not initially shown the fake money. Instead, they are taught what the real thing looks like. They are schooled in the inks, paper, techniques of printing, and many other things. In order to know what the counterfeit bill looks like, they must know everything about the real bill...So it is with you and I as Christians. We must be able to spot the ‘almost right’ in our culture and to do that we need to know what the ‘right’ looks like. We need to know everything we can about what is right, and the only way to do that is to study God’s Word. Spend time in Bible study. Sit under godly teachers of the Word who do not bend the truth or water down the Word. Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you to recognize the ‘almost right’ that is so prevalent in our culture today!" ******* Hebrews 4:12, "The Word of God is alive and active. It is sharper than any sword that has two edges. It cuts deep enough to separate soul from spirit. It can separate bones from joints. It judges the thoughts and purposes of the heart!" *** James 1:19, "My dear brothers and sisters, pay attention to what I say. Everyone should be quick to listen. But they should be slow to speak. They should be slow to get angry!" *** Luke 11:27-28, "As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called out. She shouted, “Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you.” He replied, “Instead, blessed are those who hear God’s Word and obey it.” *** James 1:22, "Don’t just listen to the Word. You fool yourselves if you do that. You must do what it says!"
Greg, yes yes we need to listen with an open mind and heart. My oldest son and I went to UB university speaker. Jon Meacham he's a famous presidential historical author. He mentioned that the country is not polarized but calcified. He also said that those who use PowerPoint usually have neither . Living faith family please Continue to pray for peace in the world and those who are struggling with physical or mental health issues. Ken
Oh I love that quote. A bit harsh, but in certain situations, yes.
Salina, if I took it correctly, it meant they have neither 'power' nor 'a point'.
"He (Jon Meacham) also said that those who use PowerPoint usually have neither (polarized or calcified?)!" What does that mean???
Greg thank you for your words of reflection and a reminder to be the best we can. I try so very hard but sometimes with age the words come out too quickly because I'm afraid I may forget what I was going to say LOL I will pray for God to give me the ability to remember the words that are needed at the right time and not worry about forgetting. Blessings to all the LFF and especially those with extra needs these days. May we all spread the love of God through all the world.
"Lord Jesus, may your word take root in my heart and transform all my thoughts and actions. Give me wisdom and understanding that I may know your will for my life and have the courage to live according to it." Amen
Beautiful.
Love it, Miguel!!! Colossains 3:16-17, "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the Name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him!" Amen!!!
Another beautiful prayer, Miguel. Thank you so much!
Total Surrender: "Lean on your Beloved because the soul who abandons themselves in the hands of Jesus in all they do, is carried in His arms." St. Clare of Assisi
"Listen first with an open heart, seeking to understand the other." I will challenge my self to follow these words in my conversations today. Amen!
Greg, such a great reminder to ask clarifying questions versus accusatory ones. I remember reading about how we commonly start questions with the word why and this can actually put someone on the defensive and trigger the fight or flight reaction. Creating openness might begin in a more open way with asking the clarifying question of, can you help me understand …. Continued blessings to the LFF community.
When I don't agree and I learn to ask, "Tell me more..." It gives me more time to consult with the Holy Spirit :-)
Thank you for your excellent idea, Jane. The word why is a trigger in conversation. Like our Moms used to say; “ It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”
Jane, enlightening fact about asking “why?”! Experience is such that the statement is true—people do react defensively to ‘why’, probably from the knee jerk reaction of “you doubt what I say” attitude. Thank you for the post as I definitely will be more mindful to ask “help me understand” so the speaker feels their words and knowledge are valued.
Jane, brilliant teaching. Thank you!
Lord please hear our prayers and bring your light to all those experiencing natural disasters, as well as those in Haiti, the Middle East, Ukraine, Russia, Darfur, the Sudan, in addition to all those suffering around the world - also for their strength, courage and resilience to continue walking in faith. Send them your light. Father in Heaven, have mercy on us and on the whole world! You sent Your Son, the Prince of Peace, for the salvation of the world. We pray that the Peace of Christ will reign in Haiti, the Middle East, Ukraine, Russia, Darfur and Sudan. Please protect and send aid to those in need and all who are at-risk. We pray for peace and rebuilding– we who are working towards it and for all those who are suffering or in danger from conflicts. We pray for an end to violence and war – we pray for wisdom for all leaders who have a hand in this. Lord God please help those in most need of thy mercy. Amen.
Greg, I suggest we also listen with discernment.
Amen... thank you Greg Dear Lord....send your healing hand to all those suffering in the world today
Amen!!
Living Faith provides brief daily Catholic devotions based on one of the Mass readings of the day. Published new each quarter, these reflections are written by women and men from a variety of backgrounds - lay people as well as clergy and religious. Learn more.
Receive a free reflection for Sundays every week via email
About Living Faith Living Faith Foundation Ambassador Privacy Policy F.A.Q. Contact Us
© 2024 Creative Communications for the Parish, a division of Bayard, lnc. All Rights Reserved.
"Listen with an open heart." Amen!