Even as a child, I became aware of festering family feuds and grudges so old those involved couldn’t remember the circumstances that started them. It’s a deep sadness that invades so many families, and even the youngest members are affected by these old wounds.
If only we could heed Jesus’ stern advice. If we truly loved and relied upon the Eucharist as we say we do, we would take the steps necessary to repair the cracks in our relationships before we turned to the altar in thanksgiving and adoration. Our presence at Mass is greatly diminished when it is camouflaged in senseless broken relationships that deny love and forgiveness where they are needed most.
Who can I reach out to today? What wound can I begin to heal?
Approaching three long years of estrangement from our son. His older daughter will be 4 years old in September. The last time I saw her was the day after her first birthday. His younger daughter will have her 1st birthday in August. I have never held her in my arms. He grew up in a loving family with an older brother. We were close. Played together. Prayed together. He changed after college where he met his wife. She is a licensed family therapist!!!! Educated in private Catholic school, and now very very much anti religion. Our “misunderstanding” stems from me offering to buy a high chair. It was interpreted as me “trying to take over” our granddaughter’s care. I have called, texted, written letters, offering to talk, to explain my and my husband’s very pure intention to help them out with an expense we could cover. And, all have gone unanswered. Our son has cut off communication with his brother and all extended family members. It’s all silly, really, and hard to grasp. All other family is “innocent”, yet they are shunned also. We had a good 7-yr relationship, enjoyed each other’s company although we did see small changes in their character prior to the first granddaughter being born, named after my mother, by the way… How did we lose him? Where did he go? Most importantly, what kind of example are he and his “therapist” wife setting for their daughters? I pray every morning, several times a day. This is likely one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced. It doesn’t have to be this way, but it is, I cannot change it. The Living Faith devotionals help me to keep on keeping on.
Mimi, I have read your post two times now and cannot wrap my head around what you have stated. One would think that a “therapist” would know better and that controlling her husband and keeping him from having a relationship with his family is not good at all. Just wondering what their relationship is with her side? I will offer a prayer for your son to have an awakening and come to his senses. The worst part of these senseless grudges is the time that is lost that can never be recovered. You have missed out on 3 years of your grandchild’s life. That’s the real tragedy. Stay strong!! Pray for a breakthrough.
I’m so sorry that you, your husband and the rest of the family have to go through this painful experience losing your son and his family for no bad but misunderstood intentions :-( You have done everything you can think of to reconcile with them without any response! You can lead the horse (more like a mule) to the water, but you can’t make him drink!!! The only thing you, your husband and your family need to do now is to heal your hurt from these past three years…I would highly recommend you and your husband to go see a Christian counselor and seek help in the healing! Only in the healing you can be whole, so you will be ready for the prodigal son to return one day :-) If you write more letter to him, I would suggest to address them both in the letter instead of just your son. 1) Start with how much you have missed them 2) You are very sad that they were hurt by you and your husband 3) Ask if there is anything you can do to reconcile with them. *** Ask your Christian counselor to help you with the letter! You may even want to invite them to one of your counseling session when your Christian counselor believes that you are ready…BTW, if one counselor doesn’t work out for you, keep searching until you find one who helps you heal from this hurt! May God’s wisdom, peace and His people be with you in your healing process! Amen!
I have to agree with Ken on this one, Mimi. You and your son will be in my prayers tonight. Perhaps one last message to him only, stating that you have done all you could to repair this relationship. When you are ready, we are always here for you. I know it's hard to get it off your mind but at least you realize you did all you could. Bill
Mimi, my heart goes out to you. Prayers.
Mimi W that is so sad. I pray that your son realizes his loss and turns around his relationship with you, whether or not he includes his wife. Seems like he’s got a lot to make up for :(
You have done everything you could do to repair this relationship. Your son needs to take the next step. I will pray that it happens soon.
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Thank you all for your words of encouragement, and prayers. I have been reading Living Faith daily for over two years. Today was my first online comment. Your feedback is much appreciated.